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Nic M.
29 March 2016 @ 07:01 pm
Nic M.
04 September 2014 @ 07:18 pm
Probably means nothing to most of you, but since I'm chronicling this here anyway: climbing v5 / 5.11 now and it feels goooood.

Well I mean right now everything hurts....
Nic M.
06 August 2013 @ 02:21 pm
I don't have a lot of time until luck becomes a real factor, and then the decline inevitable. 15, 20 years. I'll be in my fifties. Then the roles will reverse again. But for now here's one strange realization rock climbing has given me: Rorschach's reversal as applied to the mind-body problem. I'm not a mind trapped inside a fleshy, bodily prison. This is a body trapped by my mind.

For now. It will win in the end. But I have twenty years of being the jailer. And that's an encouraging thought.
Nic M.
05 June 2013 @ 12:13 am

Moment of tiny, staggering heart-break with Wren: we're at the park down the street. Usually I follow her around, helping her climb, catching her at the bottom of the slide. Today she turns to me and says "Daddy. Sit bench. Go, over there." And points. To the bench. With the other bored-looking parents. She's two and a half and doesn't need me at the park any more.

(Except that she totally did within, like, 3 minutes... but the thought was there.)


I haven't checked Facebook in a week. I feel weird, disconnected, and free. It's a little like not wearing underwear, I guess.

If I call any of you people out of the blue that's why.

Nic M.
16 April 2013 @ 04:08 pm
Caught Wren's stomach bug. Been basically in agonizing stomach pain for the last 24 hours. Like, can't sleep pain. Daggers in my gut pain. Then I vomit.

This is a boutique kind of hell.
Nic M.
13 December 2011 @ 03:24 am
We saw our pediatric neurologist today. It was a short visist. He has no significant concerns and wants to follow-up in another 12 months. He seems to to think there's a good chance Wren will be fine growing up.

This is true for about 10-15% of children with stage II HIE. The good doctor was rather amazed. We got lucky, I guess.

Tube's still going in. Didn't help my constant second-guessing and nerves that the neurologist seemed surprised we were moving forward with this. He seemed a bit more understanding when we explained our ongoing feeding difficulties (low solid intake, refusal to bottle feed, etc.) but fuck I still hate it. I can hold on to this, though.
Nic M.

But before I go to bed I might have to go BREAK ALL MY FUCKING FINGERS OFF. Damn.